I (Don't) Hate You (At All)
by ektros
Summary: Johnny returns from the army to visit Ashdene Ridge. He soon decides to stay for a few months, much to everyone's glee. Well, almost everyone. He and Carmen have been fighting from the moment he got back, and the tension between the two thickens every day. But whilst the two take pot shots at each other, something else is happening...and it's not hate. slow-starting jarmen.
1. Chapter 1

**au. Johnny returns from the army for a few months. When he first arrives, he and Carmen clash more than ever, causing tension to arise between them and everyone else in the household. As time goes by, things only get worse, and yet despite what they say and do, they don't hate each other…no, it's something else entirely…**

The residents of Ashdene Ridge had all assembled in the dining room to eat dinner. They were chattering and laughing as they took their seats.

"There is _no_ way you actually did that." Carmen was saying to Ryan, as she sat beside him at the table, laughter following her words. Ryan was grinning.

"Cross my heart." Ryan shrugged, though he was laughing too. "Seemed like a brilliant idea at the time."

As the two kept talking, Tee glared at them from where she was sitting. She didn't like how friendly they'd been lately. She'd already attempted to warn Carmen away, but the older girl had simply said that she was jumping to conclusions.

" _You've got him all wrong, Tee. He's a good guy."_ Carmen had said.

"How can she be so blind?" Sasha muttered to Tee, looking at Carmen and Ryan as they nudged each other and whispered about things nobody could hear.

Tee shrugged and lowered her gaze as May-Li put the dish of lasagna on the table, along with a jug of water and a jug of juice.

The doorbell rang rather suddenly, and Mike immediately straightened up. "I'll get it." He said, before anybody else could react, and he vanished from the room.

Most of the kids brushed it off, but Tee caught Carmen's suspicious look. Ryan raised an eyebrow, turning to meet Tee's gaze. He looked startled to find her looking at him, but then, as if he'd realized something, he gave a tiny smirk and leaned across to whisper something to Carmen. Tee stiffened as her friend laughed.

A few moments later, a smiling Mike reappeared, seemingly alone.

"Mike? Who was it?" Carmen asked, curiously.

"We have a visitor." Mike said casually. "Come on in."

A figure appeared in the doorway. A very familiar figure. Everyone's mouths dropped open.

"JOHNNY!" the whole room exclaimed, as everyone got to their feet, surrounding him in a group hug.

They all parted, until only Tee remained, hugging Johnny tightly. "Why didn't you tell us you were coming?"

Johnny laughed. "I thought it'd be better to surprise you." He grinned. "Mike agreed."

"You knew about this?!" Tee laughed, turning to look at Mike.

"We both did." May-Li smiled sheepishly. "It was really difficult keeping it a secret from you."

Tee just grinned, pulling back to look at Johnny. "How long are you staying for?"

"Not sure yet." Johnny smiled. "At least a few days, though."

Johnny and Tee sat down, along with Mike and May-Li. Everyone bombarded him with questions, but he seemed to avoid talking about the army as much as possible.

Carmen looked at Johnny, head tilting slightly as she pretended to listen to him talking. It wasn't as though she didn't care what he was saying, more that she was lost in thought. Something about him was…different. She couldn't put her finger on what it was.

 _Has he always been that hot?_

"Earth to Carmen." Ryan nudged her, and when she turned to look at him, he raised an eyebrow. "Any longer and he would've noticed you staring."

"Oh, shut up. I wasn't staring. I was lost in thought." Carmen replied.

Ryan rolled his eyes, but he was grinning. Carmen grinned back.

Later, all the kids gathered in the living room whilst May-Li and Mike finished up some work. Most of the kids sat on the floor playing games. Tee, Sasha and Johnny sat on one sofa, and Carmen was laying on the other one. Ryan strolled in, stopping in front of her.

"Budge up, will ya?" he said, smirking.

"See, I would, but I'm pretty comfy." Carmen teased.

"Have it your way." Ryan lifted Carmen's legs, sat down, and then let her go. Her legs ended up across his lap, not that he seemed to mind. Neither did she. "See? Was it that difficult?"

"Yup." She replied, popping the 'p'.

Johnny lowered his voice, talking to Tee. "Since when are they so close?" he asked, as he watched Ryan and Carmen laughing and joking around.

"Since now." Tee sighed, shaking her head. "He's trouble, Johnny. But she won't listen to me. She thinks we've got him wrong."

"Is there a possibility that she's right?" Johnny turned to look at Tee and Sasha.

"It's a very slim possibility." Sasha informed him.

Johnny's eyes slid back over to Carmen, who was laughing hysterically at something Ryan had said. _I want to make her laugh like that…and is it just me, or is she suddenly really pretty?_

He shook his head a little, frowning. Why would he think something like that? Carmen had always been pretty, nobody could deny that, but…he'd never really thought about it before. But looking at her now…it was sort of impossible not to.

"She'll be fine." Tee said, placing a hand on Johnny's arm.

He looked at her, a little confused, before realizing what she meant. She'd caught him staring, and thought he was just worried about his friend.

"I know." Johnny said. "So, how have things been here?"

Tee launched into an explanation about everything that had happened since he'd left. Unfortunately, that included telling him all the things Ryan had done to them and Johnny was furious, to say the least.

He stood up, storming over to Ryan with his arms folded. Carmen and Ryan raised their eyes to Johnny, laughter dying on their lips at the look on his face.

"What the hell have you been doing to my sister?" Johnny demanded.

"Look, mate, things have happened, but I regret it, and I told Tee that. I told everyone that." Ryan said quietly.

"Yeah right. You're a liar. You don't regret anything you've done. But the next time you say or do anything to Tee, I'll-"

"You'll _what,_ Johnny?"

Except it wasn't Ryan talking. He hadn't even had a chance to open his mouth. Carmen was on her feet, standing in front of Johnny with a death glare.

"Go on. You'll do _what?"_ her voice was menacing.

Johnny looked down at her, startled. Then his features hardened. "Seriously, Carmen? You're defending this phony?"

"Leave him alone." She snapped. "You don't know what's gone on."

"Apparently you don't either, Carmen." Tee cut in. "Why are you defending him?"

"Carmen, it's okay, you don't have to…" Ryan muttered.

"No, it's not okay!" she said, turning to Johnny again. "How can you think you've got the right to just waltz back in here and start barking orders?" Carmen folded her arms, an arch of her eyebrows following.

Johnny scoffed. "Oh, shut up, Carmen."

Her eyes narrowed. She took a step forward, so the two were even closer. She may have been shorter than him, but her anger was scarier than he was ready to admit. "You may have just come from the army, but maybe somebody needs to give you a reality check. You're not a sergeant and we're not your soldiers. And if that's all you came here for – to boss us about like we're your dogs – then you should've stayed gone."

Johnny stiffened. The room was deadly silent. Nobody said a thing. Then, without thinking, he blurted out the most spiteful thing he could think of. "Yeah? Well at least I've _got_ dreams. I took my chance of leaving this place. And guess what? That's a chance that a selfish little brat like you will never have."

A few kids gasped. Everybody looked on in awe.

"Johnny!" Tee scolded, eyes wide.

Carmen's lips pressed together in a thin line, and though she kept her expression icy, Johnny saw the hurt in her eyes and immediately felt guilty. Before he could apologize, though, Ryan had stood up and shoved him away from Carmen.

"Don't talk to her like that." He snapped.

Nobody could do anything other than stare. This was the first time since Ryan's sister came that he'd shown any sort of affection for anyone, least of all Carmen.

"Let's get out of here." She muttered, walking towards the door with Ryan in tow.

"Carmen, I'm-" Johnny tried.

"Shut it, G.I Joe." She called back, running up the stairs.

As a door slammed upstairs, Johnny sat down, regretting his words but refusing to admit it. "The hell's her problem?" he asked.

Tee shook her head. "Don't, Johnny. Just don't."


	2. Chapter 2

Carmen sat quietly in Ryan's room, trying her hardest to hold back tears. "I shouldn't be upset, right?"

"He was out of order." Ryan said. "I've got half a mind to go down there and…"

"Don't bother." Carmen cut him off, but she was smiling a little.

He glanced over at her. "He had no right to say that to you."

"It's not worth fighting him over." Carmen shook her head a little, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Of course it is." Ryan said, sitting beside her. "You're my friend – my _only_ friend – and he almost made you cry!"

" _Almost._ " Carmen said. "But I'm not crying, am I? So it's okay."

Ryan went to protest, but she put her hand over his mouth.

"Shut up. It's fine. Leave it alone, okay?" she said.

A pause. Then, Ryan licked her hand, causing her to immediately let go.

"Gross!" but she was laughing too much to try to be angry.

"That's what you get." He grinned.

"Ryan! Carmen! Come downstairs, please." May-Li called.

The two exchanged a glance and Carmen stiffened.

"You want me to go tell her you don't want to?" Ryan offered.

"No. I'm not a chicken. I'll go." Carmen stood up.

"Hey, Carmen?" Ryan said, as she walked towards the door.

She turned her head. "Yeah?"

"Why'd you stick up for me? All your mates hate me." Ryan was clearly sincere, judging by the look on his face.

"Because you're my friend." Carmen said, simply. "I figured I might as well get to know you, and I have. You're not a bad person. You just make stupid mistakes."

"Thanks, Carm." Ryan replied sarcastically, laughing.

"We all do it." Carmen grinned. "Just you more than others."

"Oi!" he exclaimed, still laughing.

She ran from the room, giggling, and he followed her, chasing her down the stairs.

Their laughter faded when they got to the living room door, and they stopped dead at the serious look on May-Li's face. Mike looked angry.

"What's this I hear about you picking fights with Johnny?" he asked.

"Mike, that's not what…" Johnny began.

"It's okay, Johnny, we'll get this sorted." Mike cut him off. "Well? Anything to say?"

Carmen stared in disbelief at Johnny. She wouldn't be a snitch – and judging by Ryan's silence, he wouldn't either. She said nothing, looking down at her feet.

Johnny's heart sunk. She wasn't saying a word. Here was an opportunity for her to tell Mike what he said to her. But she wasn't.

 _Holy crap, she's beautiful._

 _Shut up!_ He thought to himself.

"Nothing? Well then, I'll be docking ten pounds off both your allowances, and unless you have anything else to say, that'll be the end of it!" Mike scolded. "The next time you pick a fight, especially with a guest in the house, the consequences will be much worse. Be grateful it was just Johnny and not potential foster parents, or an inspector."

"Mike, wait." Johnny said.

Mike looked towards Johnny. "Yes, Johnny?"

"That's not what happened." Johnny told him.

"But Tee and Sasha said that…" May-Li began.

Carmen looked over to Tee and Sasha, who looked away. _Some friends they turned out to be._

"I know what they said." Johnny sighed. "They were covering for me. I was the one who started getting annoyed with them. I just…I've had a long day, and it took a long time to get here, and I'm tired. It makes me grumpy."

Mike sighed. "Very well. In that case, Johnny, apologize and it'll be done with."

Johnny lowered his gaze. "I'm sorry, guys."

Carmen said nothing, but the moment May-Li and Mike were gone, she turned to Tee angrily. "Should've known you'd turn out to be a tattletale. What's wrong with you? I thought we were supposed to be friends."

"Yeah, me too." Tee replied. "But then you started ditching me for him." She pointed at Ryan.

"He has a name, first of all. And second, you're acting like you haven't blown me off for Sasha every time I've asked to hang out with you. Don't pretend like you're the only victim here, Tee. I've been trying for months to reach out to you, but you're not interested. And now you suddenly care what I'm doing and who I'm with?" Carmen spat.

"Stop it." Johnny said. "Both of you."

"Keep out of this, G.I Joe." Carmen snapped.

Johnny stood up. "Would you stop calling me that?"

She rounded on him, as Tee didn't have anything else to say. "Or _what?_ You gonna shoot me? Did you sneak a gun out of the army with you?"

"You're so ignorant." Johnny rolled his eyes.

"I think you'll find you're mistaken." Carmen replied coldly. "You don't know anything about me."

"I know that you're a diva and a drama queen without a single cell in that so-called brain of yours." Johnny flung back.

"Leave her alone." Ryan growled.

"Stay out of it, Ryan." Tee snapped.

"Oh, so now you talk?" Carmen demanded, looking over her shoulder at Tee. "Because you've got your big brother to protect you? You're pathetic, Tee."

"No, Carmen. _You're_ pathetic." Johnny snapped, causing her to look back at him. "You're picking fights over ridiculous things!"

"What, so you saying I don't have any chance to get out of here is a ridiculous thing? Tee accusing me of ditching her when she did it to me first is a ridiculous thing? Finding out my so called friends snitched on me for something that _you_ started?" Carmen snarled, and Johnny looked guilty for a moment.

"That's…" he paused, then his anger returned. "Yeah, that's what I mean. Ridiculous things. Can't you stop behaving like a child?"

"Says you! Just because you've been to the army doesn't mean you've grown up. What sort of an idiot waltzes up to a guy he barely even knows and starts threatening to punish him for things he's already apologized for a thousand times? If your sister doesn't trust him then that's her problem." Carmen defended Ryan, and he smiled slightly.

"You shouldn't trust him either!" Tee piped up.

"He's bad news." Sasha replied.

"Yeah? Are you sure about that? Because the only person who's actually shown any sign that they care recently is him. I don't know about you, but I think if he were that bad of a person then he'd have used me while I was vulnerable. But you know what? He didn't." Carmen said shortly. She turned back to Johnny.

 _He's even hotter when he's mad…FOCUS, Carmen._

"Nothing else to say, G.I Joe?" she said.

"Oh, I've got plenty. But you'll just cry like a baby if I get started." Johnny replied, with a smirk, his voice low.

Carmen took a step forward, dangerously close to him. Eyes narrowed, fists clenched, the two glared at each other, tension rising between them. "Try me."

Johnny kept a cool expression, but internally, his thoughts were all over the place.

 _She's hot when she's angry…_ _ **try me?**_ _What is she doing to me?_

"Is that a challenge, Howle?" Johnny smirked.

"Sounds like it." Carmen replied, lowering her voice. "Or are you too much of a _coward,_ G.I Joe?"

"I'd rather save the best till last." Johnny said. "But you're impatient, and that's not my problem."

"Oh, I can wait." She replied, crossing her arms. "Because I know no matter what you say or do, it'll be pathetic."

"Like you, you mean?" Johnny said.

"No. Like _you."_ Carmen turned away. "You seem to think your sister can't fight her own battles. I agree. But can you fight yours?"

She didn't give him a chance to answer as she left the room once again. After a moment, Ryan went after her.

"Are they dating or something?" Tyler asked.

"Wouldn't be surprised." Sasha said.

"They can be bullies together for all I care." Tee chipped in. "I can't believe I ever trusted her…"

Johnny kept quiet, sitting down as he tried to calm down. Despite the fact that anger was bubbling in his chest at the mere thought of Carmen, he couldn't ignore the tiny voice in his head that was hoping she and Ryan weren't dating.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, everyone – minus Carmen and Ryan – was sitting in the living room, chattering away.

Floss, Harry, Billie and Toni were playing Monopoly with Mo, whilst Archie, Joseph and Finn sat by and watched. Bailey, Sasha, Tee and Johnny were sitting on the sofa, chatting to Chloe. Jody and Tyler were playing pool, and Kazima was watching.

Mike entered the room, looking around at everyone. "House meeting! Is everyone here?"

Johnny shook his head. "Carmen and Ryan aren't."

"Anyone know where they are?" asked May-Li.

Nobody said a word, causing the two careworkers to share a look.

"I'll check upstairs." May-Li said, starting for the stairs.

"Careful! You might come across them snogging." called Jody.

Everybody laughed, except for Johnny and Tee, who merely exchanged a glance.

A few moments passed, and May-Li returned with Ryan and Carmen. Both were already dressed, and seemed to be in deep conversation.

"Were they snogging?" Tyler asked May-Li, earning a dirty look from Carmen and an eye roll from Ryan.

"That's enough." Mike said.

"Oh come on, Mike, they're obviously dating!" Sasha piped up. "Why else would Carmen stand up for a creep like him?"

"Watch it." Carmen said lowly, fists clenching at her sides. Only Johnny seemed to notice. He was proven otherwise, though, when Ryan's hand rested on Carmen's arm.

"Don't." he whispered.

"Was that supposed to be a threat?" Sasha scoffed. "Pathetic."

Carmen opened her mouth to retort, but was cut off by Mike.

"ENOUGH!" he roared. Everybody fell silent. "Carmen, Ryan, house meeting."

The two went to stand at the back of the room.

"Now, May-Li and I have arranged for us to go camping this weekend." Mike said.

Ryan stiffened beside Carmen. She looked at him and placed a hand on his shoulder, causing him to look at her. She mouthed 'It's going to be okay', and he smiled slightly.

Chloe took notice of this, eyebrows furrowing, before they all turned their attention back to Mike.

"You will behave yourselves, understood? This weekend is going to be _fun."_ Mike sighed. "And whatever it is you're all fighting over…" his gaze flickered between Carmen, Johnny, Ryan and Tee. "Just give it a rest, okay? You're supposed to be friends."

Carmen had a guilty expression on her features, but Tee piped up. "They're not my friends."

"Nor mine." Sasha agreed.

Carmen's heart sank like a stone. She looked down to hide her hurt, but Johnny saw it.

"Tee…" he said, looking at her.

"No, Johnny! I'm sick of her parading around the place like she owns it. All I've ever done is be kind to her, and look at the reward I got!" Tee argued.

Mike and May-Li looked at Carmen, then at Tee, then back at Carmen. Nobody knew what to say.

"You call ditching her and then turning it around on her being _kind?"_ Ryan muttered. "Some friend you turned out to be."

"Don't you even start! You don't know me at all!" Tee snapped.

"I know you enough, Tee Taylor. What sort of a friend ditches a friend?" Ryan asked.

"Ask Carmen! She did it first." Sasha argued.

Johnny was watching Carmen carefully, watching as she struggled to hide her hurt. But as Sasha spoke, the girl seemed to snap. Her head snapped up to look at the girl.

"I did it first, huh? Why don't you ask Kaz what I was doing while Tee was hanging out with you?" Carmen snapped.

Everyone turned to look at Kazima.

"I don't want to take sides." Kazima began. "But the truth is important here. While you two were spending all your time together, Carmen sat in our room alone. She spent weeks just tagging along with whatever the rest of us were doing because she had nobody specific to go to."

Tee looked slightly guilty.

"Then Ryan came." Kazima said. "Carmen was crying, and he was the only one except me who noticed her leaving the group. He followed me upstairs and came to ask if she was okay."

Carmen turned to Tee. "Do you get it now? Have you got it through your thick skull yet? _You_ decided to cut me off, that was your choice. Now I've made mine."

"Sounds like the start of some sick sort of love story." Sasha muttered.

"Just button it!" Carmen snapped, taking a step forwards. Johnny stood up, and Carmen turned to face him. "Come on then, G.I Joe? You gonna hit me?" she challenged, folding her arms and giving him her most hateful look.

Immediately, Johnny's temper flared. "Quit calling me that! And if I didn't have something against hitting girls, trust me, I'd be first in line to knock you on your…"

"Language!" May-Li yelled. "Stop this, now!"

But nobody paid any attention.

Carmen looked into Johnny's eyes, and Johnny looked into hers. Both had the same thought.

 _I hate you but in a weird way I like you…_

Carmen shoved Johnny backwards, causing him to fall back into his seat. "Don't get involved with things that don't concern you."

"This concerns me." Johnny replied, though he didn't get back up. "Maybe I just like making you feel bad."

Carmen was quiet for a moment. Then her expression hardened. "Well, good luck with that."

She turned on her heel and stormed out of the living room, despite Mike's protests.

"What the hell is going on with you lot?!" Mike demanded. "You never used to treat each other like this."

"That was before she turned into a selfish cow." Tee muttered.

"Don't talk about her like that!" Ryan snapped. "What the hell would you know about it?"

"Oh, and you know her better than we do, I suppose?" Johnny snarled.

"Actually, yeah." Ryan replied, though he sounded more upset than angry this time.

Everyone was startled by his sudden change of tone.

"If you knew…if you had _any_ idea…" Ryan shook his head and began walking out of the room.

"Knew _what?"_ Jody called.

Ryan stopped. "I'm not going to tell you her secret. But if any of you even bothered to ask her, maybe she'd tell you." With that, he walked out of the room, leaving everyone stunned.

Johnny was lost in thought. The look of pain in Ryan's eyes as he'd spoken those words had surprised and worried Johnny. _If you knew…if you had_ _ **any**_ _idea…_ but what did he mean by that?

* * *

"Dinner's ready!" May-Li called.

The kids trooped into the dining room. Of course, as everyone sat down, the two usuals were missing. Before anyone could comment, though, Ryan appeared in the room. Everyone was waiting for Carmen to pop up too. But she didn't.

"Carmen's not feeling too good." Ryan told Mike. "She doesn't want anything."

"Is she alright?" May-Li asked, concerned.

Ryan visibly hesitated. "Can I have mine later?" he asked. "I don't think she should be by herself."

Mike and May-Li exchanged a look, before nodding.

"Is there anything we can help with?" Mike asked.

Ryan shook his head. "I doubt it."

"Oh, give me a break." Bailey muttered.

"She's such a drama queen!" Jody agreed.

"Honestly, I bet there's nothing even wrong with her." Sasha said.

"She's just too scared to face us." Tee added, laughing. "Typical Carmen. Starts a fight then can't face the music afterwards…"

"Shut up!" Ryan suddenly yelled, slamming his hands down on the table.

Everyone jumped and fell silent, looking at him with mouths open wide.

"You don't know anything about her! You've known her all these years and yet you've never once asked her if she's okay, never once asked her anything important, and now you're making assumptions of a person that you don't even know!" Ryan snapped.

"Trust me, we know her." Johnny replied.

"No! You just think you do. You know the person she lets you see every day. But you don't know her properly. If you were real friends then you wouldn't be doing this." Ryan said. "You're all calling her a drama queen, a diva, selfish, and whatever else, but you haven't once considered _why_ she's being dramatic. Did you ever stop to think that she's just trying to get you to _**listen**_? To try and get somebody to care?"

Silence fell across the room. Nobody said a word.

Johnny's eyes widened as the realization hit him.

"Exactly." Ryan spat venomously, glaring at everyone around the table. "So leave her alone."

With that, he turned and left the room, leaving all of the kids in guilty silence.


End file.
